Spring Update

I think time is moving at turbo speed around here. Since I last posted, we had a fabulous 2 week family vacation to Southern California with my mom, my brother Steve, and a family friend, Mikie, who came to help with the kids. We did Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal park, the beach, and 5 days at Disneyland. We played hard and had a wonderful time. The babies cooperated, but I was very grateful for the extra hands. I set everything up as a big homeschool field trip with 40 other people joining us at Disneyland for a couple of fun classes. It made the prices of everything MUCH cheaper.

We had a fun Christmas and the kids were given a big set of GeoTrax that keeps them busy for hours. Then, the first part of January, Stephen started hurting really bad and ended up having to have a hernia surgery, with a hard recovery. He wasn't allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs for 6-8 weeks, which meant he couldn't even hold either of the babies. It just happened to be the same week that all our new activities started up, so I had piano and violin lessons for 3 kids, and swim lessons for 5 different kids, which meant I had to take everyone with me to the pool by myself 4 nights a week for the next 5 weeks. That time seemed to last forever!!!! February found us fighting one sickness after another. Strep throat, pink eye, colds, a nasty cough that would bring me to my knees.

By March, I was running on empty and feeling ready to crack, so it became my JUST SAY NO month. I resigned as director of the homeschool co-op I've been working with for 5 years now. It had grown from 30 kids to 120 kids and still just had 2 of us as directors. We reorganized the co-op with 6 women now doing what I was doing and sharing the load. I am now just the treasurer and the load is so much lighter. I should have said something a long time ago, but I didn't realize how much work I was putting in until I had to list everything for someone else to take over. I also passed on the responsibility of planning a family reunion to my brother-in-law and said no to several other things people asked me to do. It feels so good to not feel like I am drowning! I think it is easy to add one thing at a time and then to go into survival mode until you don't even realize you are drowning.

We also had 3 birthdays to celebrate in February and March with fun activities and family parties. Adam chose to go play at Carl's Jr playland and go swimming, then spend a week at grandma and grandpas. For Eli's birthday, we took everyone to Wahooz for a day of go-karts, bumper boats, laser tag, miniature golf, and arcade games. Jeanisha had a beauty day getting her ears pieced and her haircut, and we will take everyone to Chuck E Cheese in a couple weeks. Her 8th birthday was on Friday and she was able to get baptized on Saturday, followed by an Easter party.

For April, Stephen and Tyler had planned to run the Beat Coach Pete 5K race. Jeanisha and Eli decided they wanted to as well, and since they are too young to do it alone, I get to run it also. Tyler and Stephen are also planning to run a half marathon in May and Tyler really wants me to do it too. (Even though his time will probably  be almost twice as fast as mine. :) He will probably be able to do it in 2-2 1/2 hours, I would be thrilled to do it in under 3 1/2.   He generally does 3 laps for every 2 that I do. He keeps saying, "If I can do it, you can do it mom." So, I'm going to see how the race next Saturday goes, but I've found a friend who would run it nice and slow like me who is thinking about doing it with me. I think I must be crazy to even be thinking of trying it, but it will give me a good goal to work on to get back in shape. This week I ran 11 1/2 miles total (4, 3, 4.5) and I'm feeling pretty good today.

July Update (Benson is here)

I just found this post that never got published. So here it is a few months late. For the update I wrote today, just scroll further down, I can't figure out how to swap them.

Benson Clyde Cox was born on July 6, 2012 at 5:39 am. He was 7 lbs 5 oz and 19 inches long. He is a sweet, quiet baby and we are settling into a routine. I am still nursing Cumorah, so I've been able to nurse him as well. They are 11 months apart. Benson waited until just after Ryan came home from the hospital and after we went to see fireworks. He was induced Thurs night, but not expected to come as fast as he did, so they gave his birth mom a sleeping pill. That made labor and delivery harder and she was worn out by the time he arrived. I was able to stay at the hospital (since I was his food source), and we were greatly blessed to have my sister-in-law Mary nearby. She helped watch Cumorah so I could be there at delivery and kept us fed at the hospital. We hope to be able to finalize the adoption in August.

Cumorah is a pro at hanging out in the hospital. Her and I stayed with Tyler in April for 5 days, with Ryan in June for 5 days, and Benson in July for 2 days. Hospitals are not much fun for a baby who wants to crawl and move, but she did really well. I hope we don't go back for a VERY long time. Ryan is recovering really well. The hardest part now is not being able to do his normal things, like carry or hold Cumorah. She is now 17.5 lbs and 28 inches long. She is crawling and pulling herself up on everything. Tyler is now just over 2 months out from surgery, but because he is healing so well, the dr. has lifted most of his restrictions. He was most excited to be able to vacuum again and now to be able to carry Cumorah. He will run his first race post surgery tomorrow.

Fall Update

Wow, where did the time go? So much has happened since I last managed to post anything. The pictures are on a couple different camera, one of which is on a campout at the moment. (The one with most of the pictures, of course). Ryan did end up having his surgery the end of June. He was in the hospital for 4 days and then came home. We were blessed and he felt better really fast, which was kind of essential since Benson was born just a couple days later. Benson is the baby boy we've adopted and I was able to be at his delivery and then stayed at the hospital with him and Cumorah so I could nurse them both. (Cumorah also stayed with me at the hospital with Tyler and Ryan, which is hard for a newly crawling baby.)

I've continued nursing them both which has been good and hard at the same time. I'm glad I don't have to deal with bottles and formula, but some days I feel like I'm nursing 24/7 and up all night.

Benson is a wonderful, sweet, happy baby. He was born July 6th. He's almost always happy, he never spits up, and loves being held. He has an adorable giggle pretty much on demand. He has big eyes and lots of dark hair.

Adam had surgery to put caps on his teeth because he was grinding them down flat. He now credits his silver teeth with everything from making him a faster runner and better at math to making him stop chewing his fingernails.

Melynda got married on August 24th to James Quintana who has 2 kids ages 6 and 8, making me a grandma. She is also expecting in March.

We finalized Benson's adoption and bought a short sale house to fix up and rent out to pay for mission in the future the same day (which also happened to be the first day of our homeschool co-op that I'm in charge of with 100+ kids to coordinate). Carpet was put in today and the fix up is now finished. YEAH!

We started back into homeschool routine. Ryan is in 7th, but taking some extra outside high school level classes that other parents are teaching. Number theory, Computer Programming, US History, and Chemistry. Tyler is 5th grade, Eli is 3rd, Jeanisha is 2nd, but works at 3rd with Eli, and Adam is K. Doing 4 levels of lessons can be a little crazy sometimes, especially with Lincoln to keep entertained and out of trouble and two babies to love and cuddle and care for. :)

Then on Oct 4, my grandpa Jack Tolman passed away and we got hit with a flu bug. We were grateful it was short and we were able to go with the kids to his funeral and celebrate his life with my cousins and extended family.

Ryan and Tyler took Hunter Education and went hunting with my dad and brothers, and Stephen. Ryan got his first deer 5 minutes from the cabin on the first day with one shot through the heart and lungs. The other 4 each got a deer as well and my brother Gary shot a bear. Overall, it was a very successful hunting trip.
 
Our Primary Program is Sunday and I'm planning a 2 week vacation to Disneyland/Southern CA in December. But once those are taken care of, life MIGHT slow down so I can add some pictures.

Hang on for the ride!

We just found out that Ryan will need to have the same surgery that Tyler had a couple months ago. He was visiting at the hospital when the surgeon came to follow-up on Tyler after the surgery and showed her his chest, and she suggested we get him tested also. Tyler's indention had been visible since birth, Ryan's has become prominent in about the last 9 months. It usually show up between 11 and 13. Tyler has noticed such a huge improvement and recovered so well, that Ryan is looking forward to the surgery, as much as you can. Tyler's lung capacity has continued to improve and he can now sleep lying down. He says it is so much easier to breathe. Ryan has noticed that he gets out of breath faster at gymnastics now than he did in the fall, but by having the surgery now, he won't have to get as bad a Tyler was. Tyler's heart was so squished that it was putting pressure on his lung and 1/3 of his left lung was collapsed. Ryan's in just starting to squish his heart, but would become more pronounced as he continues to grow. The surgery is also easier to recover from the younger you are. The surgeon is wonderful and has scheduled his surgery for June 28th. This is a huge blessing because our insurance year starts over on July 1st, and we've already met our family out-of-pocket maximum for this year. So doing it now will also save us about $5000 out-of-pocket.

On the other hand, the timing couldn't be much worse. We are adopting a baby boy that is due between June 24th and July 1st, depending on which method you use to determine his due date. LMP is June 24, ultrasound is July 1. We are super excited and so are the kids. We were approached by his biological mom and asked if we would adopt him several months ago, and after lots of prayer and discussion we knew it was right.We're planning to name him Benson Clyde and he will be about 11 months younger than Cumorah, which makes it possible for me to tandem nurse.

And, as if that's not enough craziness, I was sustained as 1st counselor in the Primary today and will be figuring that out in the next couple weeks. I'm sure I will love the calling, I just had to laugh at the timing. Day Camp for Eli and Tyler is also that week, along with a river rafting trip for Ryan. Sometime this week we will be getting a new roof.

When it rains, it pours!

Benefits of homeschooling

A friend on facebook from high school said, "Noticed a lot of moms talking about homeschooling lately. I'm curious, what do you feel the benefits are? And how do you compensate for the missed social experiences?"

My response ended up being a book, but it summed up my feelings about homeschool pretty well, so I wanted to post it here too. Some days I need the reminders of why I do this.

I've homeschooled for 7 years now. This year I have 6th, 4th, 2nd, 1st graders, 2 preschoolers, and a baby. Life is busy. My kids excel academically and with homeschool they can move at their own pace. My 6th grader took the ACT through a talent search this year and scored a 26. He finished high school level Algebra in March. He plays the piano, sings in 2 choirs, takes gymnastics, and has already earned 6 merit badges for BSA. He did try public school for 5th grade. He was bored. With homeschool we don't have to redrill things they already know. I remember being so bored in high school going over parts of speech AGAIN, and thinking we learned this in 4th grade, let's move on! If they know something, we skip it. 

With homeschool, the kids have more "real" friends, less acquaintances. They have friends over often and they make up great creative and active games in the backyard or family room. When they went to a public schooled friends house, he just wanted to play video games. They decided it's more fun to invite him here. We have a co-op once per week where they get to be in a classroom setting with friends and have other moms as their teachers to learn those skills. (We have over 80 kids in the group and have had many of the same families for 4 years.)They get to take all the types of classes that you need a group for, drama, public speaking, parliamentary procedure, PE, sign language, dissection classes. . . 

We homeschool through a virtual charter school, so my kids take the regular ISATs and other tests. I can see how they compare to the other public schooled kids and know we've covered everything, plus much more. My 1st grader just finished 3rd grade math and loves reading real books. She wants to catch up with her brothers and is totally self-motivated. 

On the other hand, my 2nd grader was adopted from foster care a year and a half ago. When he came, he was in first grade and didn't know all of his letters or sounds and couldn't count above 14. He had been told to just sit and not bother other kids. He was on tons of drugs for ADHD and everything else. We've been able to focus on the gaps and one-on-one to help him catch up. He's at grade level now for math, and getting closer for reading. He's reading books like Frog and Toad independently and loves learning. When his ADHD gets too much, I send him out to do 50 jumps on the trampoline or run to the fence and back 10 times, then he can focus. He can practice skip counting by riding his bike in a circle over the numbers and saying them outloud. He can drill flashcards with a math "game." 

Learning can be fun! We do science and history mostly hands on with projects, activities, and experiments. We do LOTS of field trips. They get to be part of real life. They helped re-do the lawn, repaint the house, watch carpet be laid. They are learning life skills along with academics. With homeschool, it's okay to be smart, to like math and reading, and to wear what you like, not what is "cool." 

My kids don't know many video game characters, TV shows, or all the movies. I'm fine with that. They DO know great literature, great mentors, how to interact with kids and adults of any age, and how to learn on their own. They are closer to their siblings and family. It is A LOT of work for me, but there are also many rewards. It's not the right thing for everyone, but it's by far the best thing for my family and my kids would all agree.

Doozy of a month

This last month's been a little crazy. We've had 5 people on antibiotics for strep throat, Tyler had a major surgery to correct his Pectus Excavatum (funnel chest) and spent 5 days in the hospital, Melynda came to visit and ended up spending a weekend in jail for an unpaid driving without privileges ticket, then Stephen had a birthday, then we got hit with croup/colds, a flu like thing with throwing up, fevers, and diarrhea. We've also been potty training, homeschooling, and trying to keep the house from falling apart. :)

Out of all that, the only thing I feel like writing more about is Tyler's surgery. The rest can just be forgotten. (Except Stephen's birthday, but that was pretty uneventful.) 

Tyler has done AMAZING.  It is a genetic "birth defect" (they think) basically the cartilage in his chest grows disproportionately with the inside growing faster than the outside causing it to pull in. It put pressure on his heart which put pressure on his lungs. The surgery entailed 3 inch incisions under each arm. Then they put a steel bar in and "pop" it, breaking the sternum. The bar stays in for 3-4 years. Kind of like braces, but they force the movement all at once, then leave it to heal in place.His left lung was about 1/3 collapsed and his breathing capacity improved 25% almost immediately when they put the bar in. (It would be like breathing through a straw your whole life. It's not ideal, but if you didn't know better, you'd deal with it.) Usually people notice the condition as kids start puberty, around 11-13, but Tyler has had it since birth and it's just gotten worse as he got older.  

His recovery is going great, he's down to 1-2 of the narcotic pain pills per day, from 4. He's mostly bored that he can't do ANYTHING. Basically nothing for 3 months, then limited activity until 6 months, so he won't be able to ride a bike or scooter or jump on the trampoline until Halloween, which is forever away. 

Easter and Stake Conference

I love Easter. I love the celebration of Christ's resurrection and the celebration of spring and the rebirth of flowers and plants. I love the babies and tulips and daffodils and bright, happy colors. I love watching the excited kids at Easter egg hunts. We did two yesterday, one at a park and one in a swimming pool and the kids loved them.

We have a number of traditions related to Easter which the kids love. The biggest one is that their Easter baskets are hidden, often quite hard. This comes from my family's tradition and has grown along with our kids. The first year Stephen and I were married, we went to my parent's for Easter. Stephen's Easter bag was hidden inside a dutch oven, inside the dutch oven cover, stacked underneath two other dutch ovens sitting off in the corner of the kitchen. :) In his family they were just sat out on the couch, so having people searching all day added a new spin.

Several years ago when we lived in Utah, there was a gospel doctrine teacher for Sunday School who seemed like he must be crazy. We moved in in July and every week he would talk about Easter eggs he had found during the previous week. It was several months later that he finally explained to some visitors
what he meant by Easter eggs and it all started to make sense.

At Easter, we hide eggs and baskets for children to find because it is fun and enjoyable for them. We hide them in a way that with a little effort they can find them. We're not trying to make the task impossible, but we don't want to make it too easy and just hand them a basket of eggs already gathered. Neither of those options would be as fulfilling for the children.

The Sunday School teacher explained that there are figurative Easter eggs hidden in the scriptures. Gems of hidden knowledge, inspiration, and insight that Heavenly Father wants us to receive and has made available for us to find if we take the time to look for them. He knows we will remember these insights better if we earn them and own them. Even when someone else shares an insight, we are less likely to remember it unless it ties into our life in some way. With this insight, Easter egg hunts have become even more special to our family and my kids have heard this analogy often.

We've continued hiding the baskets and as the kids have grown, each year they send a letter to the Easter bunny asking that the basket be hidden a certain "hardness." This year Eli and Lincoln wanted Easy, Adam and Jeanisha XXX Hard, and Ryan and Tyler XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX Hard. Yes, 15X hard. Tyler even said, "I hope it's hidden so well I can't find it until my surgery." (which is not until April 26th.) Of course, this morning, he started wanting hints as soon as the easy ones were found. (How often do I want to get the valuable treasures from the scriptures the "easy" way?) They each get 3 questions or hints. They can also do a job to earn an extra hint that can divide the search area in half. It's fun to listen as they figure out the best way to phrase their question to get the most benefit.

This year, because of the 15X hard request and the bulky nature of what the Easter Bunny left, they were each told that an orange card with their name and the Easter Bunny's picture had been hidden and that when they found that, they could trade it into mom for their Easter stuff. It's amazing how many more good hiding places you can find for a piece of paper vs. a big bag of goodies. :) Stephen did suggest my desk for the 15X hard one, but in that case it might not surface until next year. :)

Eli's was in the silverware drawer. Pretty easy, right? I even gave him the morning job of unloading the dishwasher. He had almost finished the silverware before he noticed the bright orange paper sitting in the drawer. :)

Lincoln and Eli were the only ones to find theirs before we left for Stake Conference this morning. The others are still looking. Adam thought hard then came up with his first question, "Where is it?"  I told him I would tell him what room instead. :) He's now got it pretty narrowed down. Ryan, Tyler, and Jeanisha still have plenty of searching to do. Ryan knows his is in the basement, Tyler knows his is on the main floor, but not in the family room. Jeanisha knows hers is not in the garage or laundry room. It's a fun tradition that makes Easter extra fun and provides lots of gospel teaching opportunities.

 Stake Conference today was. . . . challenging. Our ward choir was selected as the choir. That meant Stephen and Ryan were on the stand and I had 6 kids by myself. We got there early to get a seat in the chapel while I fed Cumorah, hoping she would sleep. She had different plans and the first half hour were not fun. I had planned that my friend with teenagers would sit with us, but she didn't end up coming, so about 5 minutes before it was going to start, I went up to the usher and told him that if there was a grandparent type couple that wouldn't mind helping with kids, we had some extra seats. Instead, he sent a grandparent type couple with two little kids of their own to take care of. The meeting starts, Cumorah's fussy and we're not really by anyone we know. I'm sure as people from the ward came in, none of them even noticed that I was all alone or registered how difficult it is to keep 6 little kids reverent for 2 hours. I'd already had to take Cumorah out during the prelude music.

During the opening prayer and song, I said a silent prayer asking Heavenly Father to send an angel to help me. Minutes later, a sweet gray-haired lady in a red dress behind me leaned forward and whispered, "If you have to take the baby out, I'll watch the others." So I ended up in the hall with Cumorah and Lincoln for the first 20 minutes or so. She settled down and we slipped back in between talks then finally fell asleep in my arms. About then, Lincoln decided to be squirmy. The same lady leaned forward and asked if I would like her to hold him. Instead I passed back the sleeping baby and was able to spend the last hour and a half keeping the others kids reverent, quiet, and listening. Cumorah woke up during the closing song. After it was over, this sweet angel thanked ME for letting her hold the baby.

I am so grateful that she was observant and willing to help. I'm sure she doesn't realize how much she helped me, but without her help, I would have probably sent the entire 2 hours out in the hall or given up and just loaded them all in the van. I hope that I can be observant of others and help without being asked.