Money Management and Budgeting Class

This is the handout from a class I taught tonight at Relief Society. You just miss my stories. :) 

Money Management and Budgeting 101

RULE 1: Always pay a full tithe! The promise of help from Heavenly Father is more valuable than anything else you could buy!

RULE 2: Make a plan for the financial future you want.

RULE 3: Use a budget and discipline to create that future.

Some people argue that a budget is too restrictive. It takes the fun out of things. The gospel is also restrictive, with rules and guidelines that appear to limit our freedom, but in reality give us much greater freedom in the future. A budget and money plan do the same thing.

President Tanner: “It has been my observation in interviewing many people through the years that far too many people do not have a workable budget and have not disciplined themselves to abide by its provisions. Many people think a budget robs them of their freedom. On the contrary, successful people have learned that a budget makes real economic freedom possible” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1979, 121; or Ensign, Nov. 1979, 82).

Part 1: Money Planning

If you don't have a plan, you will wander endlessly and never reach your ideal destination.

Step 1: See debt as a 4 letter word. It is your enemy! Make a commitment and do all in your power to avoid debt.

Joseph B. Wirthlin: Remember this: debt is a form of bondage. It is a financial termite. When we make purchases on credit, they give us only an illusion of prosperity. We think we own things, but the reality is, our things own us.

Some debt—such as for a modest home, expenses for education, perhaps for a needed first car—may be necessary. But never should we enter into financial bondage through consumer debt without carefully weighing the costs.

We have often heard that interest is a good servant but a terrible master. President J. Reuben Clark Jr. described it this way: “Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation. … Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.” 2

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) taught: “All too often a family's spending is governed more by their yearning than by their earning. They somehow believe that their life will be better if they surround themselves with an abundance of things. All too often all they are left with is avoidable anxiety and distress” (“Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts,” Liahona, May 2004, 42).

President N. Eldon Tanner (1898–1982) taught: “Those who structure their standard of living to allow a little surplus, control their circumstances. Those who spend a little more than they earn are controlled by their circumstances. They are in bondage” (“Constancy amid Change,”Liahona, Feb. 1982, 46).

Elder Ezra Taft Benson said: “Let us live within our income. Let us pay as we go. … Let us heed the counsel of the leadership of the Church. Get out of debt!” (Pay Thy Debt and Live, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [28 Feb. 1962], 12).

Step 2: Build an emergency fund of $1000 to $1500. Go crazy. Sell things, work extra. If you don't have at least a small emergency fund, you are at the edge of a cliff waiting to be pushed off.

Step 2B: Pay down consumer debt. Use a debt snowball. Starting with smallest debt first will give you momentum. Restructure debts to reduce interest rates, sometimes you can get a lower rate just by calling and asking. Destroy the cards so you don't just buy more stuff. Or freeze them in ice. Make them very inaccessible. Be cautious about closing accounts as that can affect your credit score. http://www.free-online-calculator-use.com/rapid-debt-reduction-calculator.html There are many other versions. Print it off and put it somewhere where you will see it everyday, on your mirror or the fridge. Consumer debt is like a fire that needs put out!

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) taught: “Set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts” (“To the Boys and to the Men,” Liahona, Jan. 1999, 66; October 1998 general conference).

Step 3: Build a buffer and live off last month's income. (Your emergency fund can be part of this.) The freedom from this is amazing and life changing! Same money, different timing = freedom and empowerment! You can pay all regular monthly bills on the first. No more paycheck to paycheck or worrying about checks clearing.

Step 4: Build a savings of 3-6 months of income. This can be saved in a conservative Roth IRA, CD's, or regular savings account. If you don't have a Roth IRA, start one. They are a great savings vehicle. Another option is to open one CD per month and roll them over, so one is always available in case of job loss or other emergency, but you earn a bit more interest than regular savings.

Step 5: Set up retirement/long term savings. Roth IRA's, rental properties, 401K. . .

*If your employer has a 401K with match, start this step earlier to not leave free money on the table. I like Roth IRA's. You can withdraw the money tax free in retirement. You can withdraw your principle penalty fee at any time. You can't touch the interest until retirement except in certain cases of “hardship.” If your income is lower than $60,000, you may also be eligible for the saver's credit on taxes (form 8880) which is an instant return on your investment of 10-50%. You can use this year's tax refund to make last years IRA contribution, you just have to put the money into an IRA by April 15^th. If you are in a high tax bracket, a traditional IRA may be better because you get a tax break now, and pay later.

Step 6: Pay off mortgage early.

ICCU offers a Freedom Mortgage: 10 years no closing costs. Other banks have other options. Long term savings are substantial.

Part 2 Budgeting

Spencer W. Kimball said “ with regard to family financing in the home. Every family should have a budget. Why, we would not think of going one day without a budget in this Church or our businesses. We have to know approximately what we may receive, and we certainly must know what we are going to spend. And one of the successes of the Church would have to be that the Brethren watch these things very carefully, and we do not spend that which we do not have.” One For the Money pamphlet

I use, and love, a software program called You Need a Budget www.ynab.com You don't have to have the program, but it saves me a good bit of time each month and makes budgeting easier. It makes the rules I follow automatic and I feel it's worth every penny! I can update/check my budget on my phone and import transactions and verify everything cleared. They have great support and free classes. However, you can also use a spreadsheet, paper and pencil, or an envelope system. The system itself doesn't matter, having something you'll use does.

We tell our kids to decide in advance not to smoke, do drugs, be chaste, etc so they are making the choice without being influenced by peer pressure or hormones. Budgeting is making the money decisions in advance so the retailers/advertisers aren't deciding how to spend YOUR money for you.

If you haven't used a budget, start by tracking your spending for 30 days. Every penny. Carry an index card in your wallet. This will help you have a starting place for your categories and know where the leaks are, so you can plug them or decide to keep them. $3 a day is $90 a month or $1095 a year, and almost $110,000 at 7% interest for 30 years. The goal isn't to cut out all pleasure or treats, it is to spend consciously. Sometimes, the chocolate is worth it.

Rule 1: Pay tithing and fast offerings first, pay yourself second. Paying yourself can take many forms: paying past debts and releasing yourself from bondage, saving for a down payment on a home, saving for retirement. Basically anything that increases your net worth qualifies. You are paying for freedom in the future. Freedom to avoid debt, retire, travel, and be able to go where the Lord needs you to go. I don't want to have to say, “Sorry Lord, I can't serve a mission, I chose to have nice things on credit instead.” Having nice things isn't the problem, having nice things before you can afford them is.

Rule 2: Give every dollar a job. Start with what you have now. Don't budget Monopoly money. (Money you hope to get, but don't currently have.) This is best done WITH your spouse. Have a budget meeting at the first of the month. One person can put it together, but the other signs off on it. Essential obligations first, freedom accounts next, disposable money last. Question every category at first. Is this a need or a want, can we reduce it? Reduce or eliminate the wants if they are less important than the big picture goal. Watch for hidden fees.

Rule 3: Save for a rainy day. Freedom Accounts, budget category where positive balance rolls forward until needed. Start with things you know, car insurance, Christmas, school clothes, deductibles. Then move onto saving for the less regular “emergency” expenses that aren't really emergencies. Every appliance in your home, every piece of furniture, and every part of your car are breaking down and will need replaced. If you are not saving and planning to replace them, you are living beyond your means. Each time you use your brakes, you are one time closer to needing new brakes. Ask about discounts for paying 6 months or a year upfront if you can. Build rainy day funds to get there. You pay it anyway, but changing the timing, you save. Cash is king!

Rule 4: Roll with the punches. Whack-a-mole is normal! Make conscious choices about where you will move the money from. If I overspend on groceries, I will have to take it from vacation or clothing or something more fun. If you consistently overspend in one area, adjust the budget. It is a tool, not the master.

Part 3: Teach Your Children

Give children opportunities to earn money. Teach them to save and make a plan for their money.

Kids need to learn the principles of working for money, saving, and budgeting.

Our kids have 3 “accounts” for money they earn or are given as gifts.

Spending money can be used for whatever they want, candy, toys, whatever. Mom and Dad have no say in how it is spent, but it earns no interest.

Short term savings may be for things like scout camp, saving up for a special toy, etc. Spending must be parent approved, and we pay 1% interest each month. (Set up to give the interest monthly via ipad app IAllowance.)

Long term savings are only for mission, college, or buying a home (or other approved future items) This money is held in an online savings account and we match it 100% when it goes into savings.

Part 4: Miscellaneous

Don't forget things like life insurance, wills, etc. Once a year or if you have a big life change reevaluate everything dealing with finances and make sure it is up to date. Pick a time/date for your review. Your anniversary, a holiday. I do it in March, after I finish taxes, before all my insurances are due. I get quotes from at least 3 companies before I renew. I like insurance brokers (Premier, WW Deal) who can run my info through several companies.

Ways to save:

Cutout “ stupid taxes.” (Mine is library fines.)

Do a spending fast. Stay out of stores as much as possible. Use a list and stick to it. Plan meals around sale items or what is in your freezer. I like to do this every February.

Make being frugal a game. Put savings toward something fun. Make a plan for “extra” money.

Put back one item from your cart or shop with cash. Specifically at Costco for me.

For Costco, only take in the amount you plan to spend. Leave the rest of your money at home or in the car. If you find a killer, must have deal, you will have to make an effort to go back for it, which gives you time to evaluate whether it is really worth it and usually, it's not.

Look for free money and take advantage of it. Rebates, free days at museums/activities, coupons.

Keep it in front of you. Subscribe to emails, listen to podcasts, post your Debt Snowball or goals where you see it, have a monthly budget meeting, enter transactions at least weekly at first. . .

Good books/resources:

Church counsel on finances https://www.lds.org/topics/finances?lang=eng

Free Courses on Personal Finance through BYU http://personalfinance.byu.edu/

Personal Finance Manuals from BYU (free online) http://personalfinance.byu.edu/?q=node/1389

Richest Man in Babylon, story format, good for discussion with teens (Short, quick read. I have a pdf copy I would be happy to email you, or the library has it).

Dave Ramsey's books and website

Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn (Some great ideas, some extreme ideas)

Mary Hunt's books

YNAB forums, blog, and podcasts. Great hints and success stories.

www.MrMoneyMustache.com Great tips and ideas here, but quite a bit of foul language. He makes you look at money and retirement, especially early retirement, differently.

Free workshop/classes Feb 13^th in Boise: http://www.smartwomensmartmoney.com/

Wyatt's Memorial Service

My sweet baby grandson passed away unexpectedly last Sat. His viewing and memorial service were held earlier this week. I was able to write up and share some memories of Wyatt and those he touched, and my dad was able to share some words of comfort. We sang several hymns including "Lead, Kindly Light," "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam," "This Little Light of Mine," "I Am a Child of God," "Families Can Be Together Forever," "Nearer, My God to Thee," and "I Need Thee Every Hour." At the end, we released 64 balloons to commemorate the 64 days that he lived. It went as perfect as a memorial service could.

Memories of Wyatt:

 Wyatt Haydes Quintana was born Feb. 15, 2013 at 2:30 am to James and Melynda Quintana on his Grandma Donna's birthday. He weighed 5 lbs 9 oz and was 19 ½ inches long. He was a perfect, beautiful baby with his daddy's blond hair.

From the moment of his birth, he was surrounded by friends and family who loved him. In addition to his parents, he was blessed with two older brothers, Jason and Jesse who adored him! He was lucky to live next door to his Grandma Donna and Grandpa Vino Quintana and to have numerous cousins, aunts, uncles, and other loved ones near by. He was Grandpa Vino's “little big man” and brought joy to the entire family.

He had a wonderful, happy personality and beautiful, frequent smile. He started smiling much earlier than he was supposed to. He loved attention and did his best to make sure everyone was always paying attention to him. He loved to reach up and hold onto his mom's hair.

Through last Wednesday, he seemed perfectly healthy and happy. Thursday morning, his dad found him not breathing and unresponsive. James rushed him next door to Grandma's house where Donna did CPT and brought his body back to life. He was taken by ambulance to the Twin Falls hospital and then life flighted to Boise. He was in critical condition and the doctors and nurses worked hard to save him. Over the next three days, those who loved him watched with roller coaster emotions as he beat one challenge after another. Doctors determined that there was a problem with his digestive system and performed exploratory surgery to find the problem, which ended up being that his colon had died as the result of C diff and E Coli bacteria. They removed 2/3 of his colon on Thursday and did another surgery on Friday morning to remove the rest.

Because of his critical condition, he could not be transported to the operating room, and both surgeries were done in his regular hospital room, a first for most of the doctors and nurses participating. There were other procedures done to Wyatt that had never been done on a baby that young and small, including the vacuum device on his stomach and dialysis on his kidneys, both of which were very successful.

I talked to the surgeon yesterday and she wanted to reaffirm how much they had learned from little Wyatt and how that knowledge will save not only other babies needing dialysis or a stomach vacuum, but other patients as they now know they can do surgeries outside the operating room successfully. He will touch and bless the lives of many, many people for years to come.

During the time Wyatt was fighting to live, he also healed many broken relationships. Contact was reestablished with friends and relatives who had not spoken in a long time. We can honor Wyatt's life by doing all we can to maintain those relationships and build on what he started.

Hundreds, if not thousands, of people were touched by Wyatt as they read his story on Facebook, prayed for him, and held their children a little closer. He may have also save his little cousin who tested positive for C diff and is on antibiotics.

In the end, while his body was being healed, doctors learned that his brain had died from the lack of oxygen and determined nothing else could be done. It was time for him to return home to his Heavenly Father. He passed away at 8:50 pm on April 20, 2013. He was 64 days old.

Melynda and James offered to donate his organs, but fortunately, there was not a baby needing them at that time.

Wyatt's life was only 9 weeks, but the lives he touched and will continue to touch cannot be numbered and will last forever.

Wyatt's full name, Wyatt Haydes Quintana means, “light in the darkness.” He truly lived up to his name and was a light to those around him. His light continues to shine as a beacon, leading us back to Heavenly Father again.

Thank you Wyatt for blessing us with your light! You will be forever missed, always loved, and never forgotten. We love you!

Words of Comfort:

The scriptures teach us that before we were born into this life we lived

in a pre-earth life or a preexistence. In this preexistence there were

basically 3 groups. I will tell about the middle group first because that

is the group that all of us here today were a part of. This group were

pretty good people who generally did as our Heavenly Father or God

wanted us to do but sometimes we wavered. So we come to earth

to get a body and to prove to Heavenly Father that we will keep his

commandments.

The third group would not do what Heavenly Father wanted so they do

not get to come to earth and get a body.

The first group is the group that Wyatt is a part of, these are the

ones who were very very good so they do not need to further prove

themselves. They just need to come to earth to get a body then they

can go back to live with Heavenly Father. At the resurrection they will

be reunited with their bodies which will be perfect. Wyatt is promised

that he will go to heaven.

So Wyatt came here and got a body, then he was ready to go back

to God. When his soul or spirit left his body and went to the spirit

world he was greeted by family members who were already there.

He was greeted by his uncle Jason, his cousin Jesse Driesel, who both

passed away as babies, his Aunt Amber, his Aunt Tina, his great great

grandpas Jack and Duane who passed away on the same day 26 years

ago. We know this from people who have had near death experiences

and have come back to tell us that they were met by family and friends.

They tell us that they were very happy and it was very peaceful their,

and I know that Wyatt is happy and is being well taken care of and that

he is just waiting for the rest of us to join him.

As I prepared these remarks I kept coming back to the idea of what

would Wyatt want me to say. So after much thought and prayer there

are 3 things that I know Wyatt would want me to tell you.

1. James and Melynda, he would want me to say thank you for

giving him a body and for loving him.

2. He would want me to tell you that his passing away was neither

one of yours fault so please do not blame each other for his

leaving and please be kind to each other and love each other.

3. The last thing he would want me to say to everyone here is to

please live our lives so that we can all be with him after this life

is over. He will be with Heavenly Father and he wants us to all be

there with him.

Spring Update

I think time is moving at turbo speed around here. Since I last posted, we had a fabulous 2 week family vacation to Southern California with my mom, my brother Steve, and a family friend, Mikie, who came to help with the kids. We did Sea World, the San Diego Zoo, the Wild Animal park, the beach, and 5 days at Disneyland. We played hard and had a wonderful time. The babies cooperated, but I was very grateful for the extra hands. I set everything up as a big homeschool field trip with 40 other people joining us at Disneyland for a couple of fun classes. It made the prices of everything MUCH cheaper.

We had a fun Christmas and the kids were given a big set of GeoTrax that keeps them busy for hours. Then, the first part of January, Stephen started hurting really bad and ended up having to have a hernia surgery, with a hard recovery. He wasn't allowed to lift anything over 10 lbs for 6-8 weeks, which meant he couldn't even hold either of the babies. It just happened to be the same week that all our new activities started up, so I had piano and violin lessons for 3 kids, and swim lessons for 5 different kids, which meant I had to take everyone with me to the pool by myself 4 nights a week for the next 5 weeks. That time seemed to last forever!!!! February found us fighting one sickness after another. Strep throat, pink eye, colds, a nasty cough that would bring me to my knees.

By March, I was running on empty and feeling ready to crack, so it became my JUST SAY NO month. I resigned as director of the homeschool co-op I've been working with for 5 years now. It had grown from 30 kids to 120 kids and still just had 2 of us as directors. We reorganized the co-op with 6 women now doing what I was doing and sharing the load. I am now just the treasurer and the load is so much lighter. I should have said something a long time ago, but I didn't realize how much work I was putting in until I had to list everything for someone else to take over. I also passed on the responsibility of planning a family reunion to my brother-in-law and said no to several other things people asked me to do. It feels so good to not feel like I am drowning! I think it is easy to add one thing at a time and then to go into survival mode until you don't even realize you are drowning.

We also had 3 birthdays to celebrate in February and March with fun activities and family parties. Adam chose to go play at Carl's Jr playland and go swimming, then spend a week at grandma and grandpas. For Eli's birthday, we took everyone to Wahooz for a day of go-karts, bumper boats, laser tag, miniature golf, and arcade games. Jeanisha had a beauty day getting her ears pieced and her haircut, and we will take everyone to Chuck E Cheese in a couple weeks. Her 8th birthday was on Friday and she was able to get baptized on Saturday, followed by an Easter party.

For April, Stephen and Tyler had planned to run the Beat Coach Pete 5K race. Jeanisha and Eli decided they wanted to as well, and since they are too young to do it alone, I get to run it also. Tyler and Stephen are also planning to run a half marathon in May and Tyler really wants me to do it too. (Even though his time will probably  be almost twice as fast as mine. :) He will probably be able to do it in 2-2 1/2 hours, I would be thrilled to do it in under 3 1/2.   He generally does 3 laps for every 2 that I do. He keeps saying, "If I can do it, you can do it mom." So, I'm going to see how the race next Saturday goes, but I've found a friend who would run it nice and slow like me who is thinking about doing it with me. I think I must be crazy to even be thinking of trying it, but it will give me a good goal to work on to get back in shape. This week I ran 11 1/2 miles total (4, 3, 4.5) and I'm feeling pretty good today.

July Update (Benson is here)

I just found this post that never got published. So here it is a few months late. For the update I wrote today, just scroll further down, I can't figure out how to swap them.

Benson Clyde Cox was born on July 6, 2012 at 5:39 am. He was 7 lbs 5 oz and 19 inches long. He is a sweet, quiet baby and we are settling into a routine. I am still nursing Cumorah, so I've been able to nurse him as well. They are 11 months apart. Benson waited until just after Ryan came home from the hospital and after we went to see fireworks. He was induced Thurs night, but not expected to come as fast as he did, so they gave his birth mom a sleeping pill. That made labor and delivery harder and she was worn out by the time he arrived. I was able to stay at the hospital (since I was his food source), and we were greatly blessed to have my sister-in-law Mary nearby. She helped watch Cumorah so I could be there at delivery and kept us fed at the hospital. We hope to be able to finalize the adoption in August.

Cumorah is a pro at hanging out in the hospital. Her and I stayed with Tyler in April for 5 days, with Ryan in June for 5 days, and Benson in July for 2 days. Hospitals are not much fun for a baby who wants to crawl and move, but she did really well. I hope we don't go back for a VERY long time. Ryan is recovering really well. The hardest part now is not being able to do his normal things, like carry or hold Cumorah. She is now 17.5 lbs and 28 inches long. She is crawling and pulling herself up on everything. Tyler is now just over 2 months out from surgery, but because he is healing so well, the dr. has lifted most of his restrictions. He was most excited to be able to vacuum again and now to be able to carry Cumorah. He will run his first race post surgery tomorrow.

Fall Update

Wow, where did the time go? So much has happened since I last managed to post anything. The pictures are on a couple different camera, one of which is on a campout at the moment. (The one with most of the pictures, of course). Ryan did end up having his surgery the end of June. He was in the hospital for 4 days and then came home. We were blessed and he felt better really fast, which was kind of essential since Benson was born just a couple days later. Benson is the baby boy we've adopted and I was able to be at his delivery and then stayed at the hospital with him and Cumorah so I could nurse them both. (Cumorah also stayed with me at the hospital with Tyler and Ryan, which is hard for a newly crawling baby.)

I've continued nursing them both which has been good and hard at the same time. I'm glad I don't have to deal with bottles and formula, but some days I feel like I'm nursing 24/7 and up all night.

Benson is a wonderful, sweet, happy baby. He was born July 6th. He's almost always happy, he never spits up, and loves being held. He has an adorable giggle pretty much on demand. He has big eyes and lots of dark hair.

Adam had surgery to put caps on his teeth because he was grinding them down flat. He now credits his silver teeth with everything from making him a faster runner and better at math to making him stop chewing his fingernails.

Melynda got married on August 24th to James Quintana who has 2 kids ages 6 and 8, making me a grandma. She is also expecting in March.

We finalized Benson's adoption and bought a short sale house to fix up and rent out to pay for mission in the future the same day (which also happened to be the first day of our homeschool co-op that I'm in charge of with 100+ kids to coordinate). Carpet was put in today and the fix up is now finished. YEAH!

We started back into homeschool routine. Ryan is in 7th, but taking some extra outside high school level classes that other parents are teaching. Number theory, Computer Programming, US History, and Chemistry. Tyler is 5th grade, Eli is 3rd, Jeanisha is 2nd, but works at 3rd with Eli, and Adam is K. Doing 4 levels of lessons can be a little crazy sometimes, especially with Lincoln to keep entertained and out of trouble and two babies to love and cuddle and care for. :)

Then on Oct 4, my grandpa Jack Tolman passed away and we got hit with a flu bug. We were grateful it was short and we were able to go with the kids to his funeral and celebrate his life with my cousins and extended family.

Ryan and Tyler took Hunter Education and went hunting with my dad and brothers, and Stephen. Ryan got his first deer 5 minutes from the cabin on the first day with one shot through the heart and lungs. The other 4 each got a deer as well and my brother Gary shot a bear. Overall, it was a very successful hunting trip.
 
Our Primary Program is Sunday and I'm planning a 2 week vacation to Disneyland/Southern CA in December. But once those are taken care of, life MIGHT slow down so I can add some pictures.

Hang on for the ride!

We just found out that Ryan will need to have the same surgery that Tyler had a couple months ago. He was visiting at the hospital when the surgeon came to follow-up on Tyler after the surgery and showed her his chest, and she suggested we get him tested also. Tyler's indention had been visible since birth, Ryan's has become prominent in about the last 9 months. It usually show up between 11 and 13. Tyler has noticed such a huge improvement and recovered so well, that Ryan is looking forward to the surgery, as much as you can. Tyler's lung capacity has continued to improve and he can now sleep lying down. He says it is so much easier to breathe. Ryan has noticed that he gets out of breath faster at gymnastics now than he did in the fall, but by having the surgery now, he won't have to get as bad a Tyler was. Tyler's heart was so squished that it was putting pressure on his lung and 1/3 of his left lung was collapsed. Ryan's in just starting to squish his heart, but would become more pronounced as he continues to grow. The surgery is also easier to recover from the younger you are. The surgeon is wonderful and has scheduled his surgery for June 28th. This is a huge blessing because our insurance year starts over on July 1st, and we've already met our family out-of-pocket maximum for this year. So doing it now will also save us about $5000 out-of-pocket.

On the other hand, the timing couldn't be much worse. We are adopting a baby boy that is due between June 24th and July 1st, depending on which method you use to determine his due date. LMP is June 24, ultrasound is July 1. We are super excited and so are the kids. We were approached by his biological mom and asked if we would adopt him several months ago, and after lots of prayer and discussion we knew it was right.We're planning to name him Benson Clyde and he will be about 11 months younger than Cumorah, which makes it possible for me to tandem nurse.

And, as if that's not enough craziness, I was sustained as 1st counselor in the Primary today and will be figuring that out in the next couple weeks. I'm sure I will love the calling, I just had to laugh at the timing. Day Camp for Eli and Tyler is also that week, along with a river rafting trip for Ryan. Sometime this week we will be getting a new roof.

When it rains, it pours!

Benefits of homeschooling

A friend on facebook from high school said, "Noticed a lot of moms talking about homeschooling lately. I'm curious, what do you feel the benefits are? And how do you compensate for the missed social experiences?"

My response ended up being a book, but it summed up my feelings about homeschool pretty well, so I wanted to post it here too. Some days I need the reminders of why I do this.

I've homeschooled for 7 years now. This year I have 6th, 4th, 2nd, 1st graders, 2 preschoolers, and a baby. Life is busy. My kids excel academically and with homeschool they can move at their own pace. My 6th grader took the ACT through a talent search this year and scored a 26. He finished high school level Algebra in March. He plays the piano, sings in 2 choirs, takes gymnastics, and has already earned 6 merit badges for BSA. He did try public school for 5th grade. He was bored. With homeschool we don't have to redrill things they already know. I remember being so bored in high school going over parts of speech AGAIN, and thinking we learned this in 4th grade, let's move on! If they know something, we skip it. 

With homeschool, the kids have more "real" friends, less acquaintances. They have friends over often and they make up great creative and active games in the backyard or family room. When they went to a public schooled friends house, he just wanted to play video games. They decided it's more fun to invite him here. We have a co-op once per week where they get to be in a classroom setting with friends and have other moms as their teachers to learn those skills. (We have over 80 kids in the group and have had many of the same families for 4 years.)They get to take all the types of classes that you need a group for, drama, public speaking, parliamentary procedure, PE, sign language, dissection classes. . . 

We homeschool through a virtual charter school, so my kids take the regular ISATs and other tests. I can see how they compare to the other public schooled kids and know we've covered everything, plus much more. My 1st grader just finished 3rd grade math and loves reading real books. She wants to catch up with her brothers and is totally self-motivated. 

On the other hand, my 2nd grader was adopted from foster care a year and a half ago. When he came, he was in first grade and didn't know all of his letters or sounds and couldn't count above 14. He had been told to just sit and not bother other kids. He was on tons of drugs for ADHD and everything else. We've been able to focus on the gaps and one-on-one to help him catch up. He's at grade level now for math, and getting closer for reading. He's reading books like Frog and Toad independently and loves learning. When his ADHD gets too much, I send him out to do 50 jumps on the trampoline or run to the fence and back 10 times, then he can focus. He can practice skip counting by riding his bike in a circle over the numbers and saying them outloud. He can drill flashcards with a math "game." 

Learning can be fun! We do science and history mostly hands on with projects, activities, and experiments. We do LOTS of field trips. They get to be part of real life. They helped re-do the lawn, repaint the house, watch carpet be laid. They are learning life skills along with academics. With homeschool, it's okay to be smart, to like math and reading, and to wear what you like, not what is "cool." 

My kids don't know many video game characters, TV shows, or all the movies. I'm fine with that. They DO know great literature, great mentors, how to interact with kids and adults of any age, and how to learn on their own. They are closer to their siblings and family. It is A LOT of work for me, but there are also many rewards. It's not the right thing for everyone, but it's by far the best thing for my family and my kids would all agree.