Playing House

My poor daughter needs some sisters!!!!

Jeanisha and I were talking about things she liked to do when she plays at friends' houses. She listed off several things she like to do, then said, "But there is one thing I don't like."
Me: What's that?
Jeanisha: I don't like it when they say 'let's play house.'
Me: Why not, lots of little girls like to play house.
Jeanisha: Because I don't know how to play that game.

I explained that playing house just means pretending to be a mom and taking care of doll babies and pretending to cook dinner and stuff like that. She looked at me for a minute, and then said, "No mom, that's just playing."

Cheap Prescription Glasses

I just ordered 2 pairs of glasses from Eye Buy Direct and got them yesterday. They cost me $21 total for 2 pairs with shipping! They seem great and my prescription works perfect. They don't seem any different from my old, much more expensive ones. They are metal frames and look cute. I only had an old prescription from 2004 and it worked fine, so if your vision doesn't change you can use whatever prescription you have. You can upload a picture and "try them on" on the site. The buy one get one sale I used ends this week. You can also email me or comment with your email address and I will also send you a link from my account on the site good for 10% off. I don't know if you can stack them. But $10 a pair for prescription glasses without having to go to an eye doctor is a steal!

Free Money

Everyone likes free money, right? There is some jumping through hoops involved, but you can get $225 per person (more if you happen to have a Bank of America credit card). (The $150 from Key is only in certain markets, but all of Idaho is included.) Here's the link to see if your area works: Key Bank Promo

Here's how to do it: Key bank is running a promo where you can get $150 for opening an account. You do have to do two payments (pulls, like link it to a cc or ING, explained below) and a debit card purchase. You also can't have opened one in the last 12 months. I've done these many times in the past. It's not too hard. Minimum opening is $125. If you want to do the next part, put $250 in there.

I used an ING account for my pulls. If you want to open an ING savings, I can email you a link to get $25 free money there just for opening it. I'll get $20. That one is totally painless and easy. :) You do have to fund it with $250, but I don't think there are any requirements for having it sit there. If you open the Key Bank first, then the ING, you can pull $100 one day and $150 the next from Key (you can schedule them both at the same time). Leaving $0 in Key. You still have to keep the Key account open for 180 days, and get out your free money, but then close it because after a year, there will be a $20 annual fee (it's waived the first year). Plus, Key does this often and you can do it again 12 months after you close the account.

Once you have the $250 in ING, you can open an ING checking account, transfer the money there and do 3 debit card transactions to get a $50 bonus there. Then you can move the rest of the money back to regular accounts and close everything if you want (I like ING and use it for my savings account).

Total free money $225 per person (remember you can do it for you and your spouse, just do individual accounts, not joint).


Now if you happen to have a Bank of America CC, they are offering $75 if you open a checking account with them. Again, close this after the minimum times and you can do it again next year. Let me know if you have questions. ING and Bank of America should work anywhere, not just Idaho. $600 in free money for me today, Wahoo!!!

Best places to read

The boys spent the entire day reading. This afternoon I told them to go outside and this is where I found them. Ryan was up in a tree and Tyler was lying on the driveway. "because it's warmest here"


The other kids enjoyed the sunshine too. Adam took off his shirt because it was "too hot" Ryan and Tyler then found new reading places, but they stayed outside. And Ryan enjoyed spending the whole day in his pajamas.

No school day

I told the kids we were taking today off of school and they could stay in pj's as long as they wanted. So what did they do?

Danced around singing The Verb Song at the tops of their lungs until they all knew it by heart. I could probably sing you the whole song too. :)
Played "Take Off" a geography quiz game.
Read, read, read and read some more. Tyler is devouring Magic Treehouse books and Ryan is reading Harry Potter 3 again.

Jeanisha did tell me it wasn't fair that I wasn't helping her with her school and that it was my job to help her do at least a few pages of math. I agreed to 4 and told her she could write me a letter saying why she should do more school. (which meant I got to spell words for her to write for the next 45 minutes)

Her letter said: "Dear mom, I like doing school because I want to catch up with Tyler. Jeanisha"

Now they are outside playing. And our "non-school" day has ended up being pretty educational.

Toilet troubles!

Adam was the last kid to go brush his teeth tonight, and there were no older siblings in the bathroom with him. Stephen walked in a minute later to find him swishing his toothbrush in the toilet.
Stephen (calmly): What are you doing?
Adam: I got too much toothpaste on my toothbrush.
Stephen: So what are you doing?
Adam (matter-of-factly): Washing it off.

He has a new toothbrush.

And unfortunately, he is proud of his new toothbrush and was excitedly telling the other kids about it like it was a great reward.

Add to this Lincoln. That kid LOVES the toilet. It's a daily battle to get all the kids to keep the toilet lid and door closed, especially since I'm trying to potty train Adam and the other kids are helpfully taking him frequently. (Both Adam and whoever takes him get a treat if he goes.)

I swear Lincoln watches for the door to be left open and his faces lights up with joy when he manages to get away with it for a minute. So far today, he's managed to put a spatula, a spoon, and a bottle of salad dressing into the toilet! (The salad dressing was when I was bringing in and putting away groceries.)

I do watch the kids, I promise, they just think the toilet was made for their entertainment.

Adoption Rollercoaster and FAQ

Adopting is so much harder than a pregnancy! The emotional ups and downs are draining. The committee meeting for Janiya and Tommie was on the 17th, and the 15, yes, 15 people who were making the decision, said we would be an incredible family for these kids. But then they told us they wanted to just wait for another 4-6 months, leaving the kids in their foster homes and see if they are "more ready" to be adopted. Apparently, all 15 couldn't agree in 2 hours. (Can 15 people agree on ANYTHING in 2 hours??? I've been in groups that spent that long debating the design for a t-shirt.)

I asked what they planned to do and they had no plan, other than to wait. I pointed out (nicely) that 4-6 months is FOREVER to a 5 and 7 year old. They then said that the decision had been made, and if we don't have a different placement in 4-6 months, we will be in a "priority" position to adopt these kids. I was SO frustrated!!!!! It really seems like NO ONE cares about these kids at all. I was even told, "These kids have been waiting for a family for so long, another few months won't make a difference." and "These kids don't know what adoption is or that there is a family that wants them, so it doesn't matter." Hello???!!!???

So, after the emotional crash of what was supposed to be a pretty sure thing (we were the ONLY family they were considering), I started focusing on our next committee meeting for Cheyann which is this coming Friday. Preparing for committee is draining. The worker representing us has a copy of our homestudy, but then I spent 3 hours on the phone answering questions about our family and how we would meet the needs of this special little girl and everything else you can imagine. You feel like you have to have the answers for everything. Three hours is a LONG time to be grilled on a phone call. I also made her a photo book of our family for if we are chosen, so she would have something to use to get to know us a little. In this case, there are 3 families selected by the caseworker. Each family is represented by a social worker and the case worker represents the child. All are presented to a committee of 3 people, who have never met any of the families, or the child, and they choose the family (in a 3 hour meeting). Kind of crazy, I know, but at least it is 3 people, not 15, and they have to leave the meeting with a chosen family. Then the selected family will get a lot more info on her and have 7 days to decide whether to proceed or not. Then the family goes and spends a week with her in Oregon, they go home, and the caseworker brings her to her new home 1-3 days later. So if it happens, it could go fast.

Then today, we were contacted by Janiya and Tommie's worker who said "they" want to have a conference call with us on Monday. I don't even know for sure who "they" entails. So maybe something will come of that. I really wish I had a crystal ball!!!! So, in the next week, one of four things will happen.
1. We could be told we get Cheyann= Happy
2. We could be told we get Janiya and Tommie= Happy
3. We could be told we get both and have major decisions to make= Happy
4. We could be told we get none of them= Major emotional crash

So 3 out of 4, I can be hopeful right???? The crashes are hard, kind of like I would imagine an early miscarriage. You have spent time planning and dreaming and figuring how this child would fit into your family--if selected, they could be in your home in less than a month, or it could take 3-4 months. There is a lot of unknown. You also know a little about their personality, but you've never actually met them, usually. Janiya and Tommie's was also hard because we'd been working to get to that point for so long. We first inquired on them back in September and were told we were a potential match in December. Then after getting lots more information, we had to wait 6 weeks for the match meeting. We'd also been pretty confident because we were the only family. I hadn't even envisioned they would just want to keep them in foster care forever (or 6 months, which feels like the same thing right now)!

The main thing we've learned so far is that nothing about the process is "normal." Every state is different, sometimes every county. And even when there are "standard procedures" that doesn't mean they will be followed. Pregnancy is much easier!

We've been asked several adoption related questions lately, so I figured I would answer them here instead of in the comments. If anyone is interested in really doing this yourselves, I would be happy to help you figure out how to get started. I still believe it will all be worth it in the end!

Where do you find the children?
Adoption photolisting sites like www.adoptuskids.com or http://photolisting.adoption.com/ Most states or counties have heart gallery's with pictures and bios of waiting children. Many are often featured as "Wednesday's child" on TV or in the newspaper

Who are the kids?
Kids whose parental rights have been terminated for one reason or another. Abuse, neglect, or drugs are the most common reasons. Many of the kids are developmentally behind because they missed out on the attention and love healthy families take for granted. Most of them are older than 3 or 4 and most have special needs of some kind (emotional, developmental, mental, or physical.) Sibling groups are generally harder to place, as are older kids.

How much does it cost?
Much less than international!!! It really depends on your agency. Our homestudy was $800, the networking fee for them to talk to other agencies was $750 (most states won't talk to us directly), and then there were the charges for physicals, background checks, classes, etc. We will also pay to go meet the child and spend a week or more wherever they live now. There will also be finalization costs, but most of those are usually paid by the state placing the child. So, in the end, our financial cost will be $3000- 5000. The emotional cost on the other hand. . . . . .