Why I homeschool

I was asked to write up "Why I homeschool" for our local homeschool group newsletter. Here it is.

Why I homeschool (according to those who think I will ruin my kids.)

I'm too lazy to get out of bed and get my kids up in the morning or have a regular bedtime.

I don't want to have to clean my house all by myself.

So I have built in babysitters for the younger kids during the day.

So I don't have to cook dinner or bake treats.

So I can brainwash my kids about religion.

So I don't have to fight the nightly homework battle.

To have control over my kids.

So my kids don't have to use textbooks and can just read all day.

To make my kids be geeks and nerds.

To not worry about grade levels.

To shelter my kids.

Guess what, they are right!

I homeschool because I'm too lazy to get out of bed and get my kids up in the morning or have a regular bedtime. TRUE: I enjoy our late night talks when my kids open up and the early morning cuddles when they all come lay on my bed and talk.

I homeschool because I don't want to have to clean my house all by myself. TRUE: I want my children to learn the skills needed to run a household, to work hard, and to work together.

I homeschool so I have built in babysitters for the younger kids during the day. TRUE: I want my children to have relationships with each other. The older kids get to be a hero and role model while learning how to work with and take care of younger children. They can still play make believe and other childish games because they are playing with a younger sibling. They also learn responsibility and leadership skills.

I homeschool so I don't have to cook dinner or bake treats. TRUE: My kids are becoming great cooks and won't have to survive on ramen noodles in college or on their missions.

I homeschool so I can brainwash my kids about religion. TRUE: If my kids are going to be “brainwashed” into learning a specific world view/political view, I want it to be what I think is important! And, because I feel that the gospel of Jesus Christ is the most essential knowledge, I am able to focus on that and incorporate it into our daily learning.

I homeschool so I don't have to fight the nightly homework battle. TRUE: I want to preserve our evenings for family time whenever possible, so I structure our days so that most school work is completed earlier in the day. I can also cut out a great deal of busywork and review of mastered concepts.

I homeschool for control over my kids. TRUE: I am able to better control the media and books they are assigned and exposed to. They will have plenty of time in life to read or watch whatever they want, but while they are in my home, I can introduce them to good literature and media and help develop an appetite for things that are virtuous and praiseworthy. I can also “control” who they become friends with by introducing them to other good kids who have similar values instead of just the kids who happen to live nearby.

I homeschool so my kids don't have to use boring textbooks and can just read all day. TRUE: If a textbook is boring and dry, we can find a better way to learn the information. I read all day in public school, I just had to hide it. And most of the stuff I remember didn't come from fill in the blank worksheets and textbooks, but from real book and things I found interesting.

I homeschool so my kids can be geeks and nerds. TRUE: If a geek is someone who is not afraid to be smart and a nerd is someone passionate about something, that is exactly what I want for my kids. Whether their passion is math or running or coins or famous people, I want them to be able to explore and be excited about that. I want them to know that being smart is good and that it's okay to have different interests then their friends. They don't have to be on the soccer team just because the other kids in their class are if their passion is math not sports.

I homeschool because I don't want to worry about grade levels. TRUE: I want my kids to learn and master the material. If that is faster than public school in one subject, great. If it is slower than public school in a subject, that's fine too. We can keep working on something until they understand it instead of just moving on. We can also cover what they are interested in (and will actually remember) regardless of which grade level they are supposed to learn it in.

I homeschool to shelter my kids. TRUE: I want to build their flicker of a testimony into a bonfire before sending them out into the world where Satan will use every possibly means to extinguish it. This doesn't mean that they never interact with any one and never get to share their testimony or the gospel. It does mean they don't have to fight a battle with the world before they have time to put on their armor and learn how to fight for truth.  

Jan 2014

If life would just slow down for a bit, I'd have time to actually record what is happening! This fall/winter has been a whirlwind of kid activities, lessons, school, and just regular life.

Stephen is still in Young Men's with the 14 year olds and working for the Dept of Agriculture like he has done forever. He ran a marathon last August after lots of training, but unfortunately tore his minicus, a little cartridge part in his knee and gets to have knee surgery to fix it here in the next two weeks. Tyler and I only ran reasonable distances, like a half marathon in May. All the kids from Adam up did cross country in the fall and several of them did races ranging from 2 miles up to the 13 that Tyler did with me. I love that it's a relatively inexpensive sport that all of them can participate in at their levels.

We did two co-ops in the fall and the kids had violin and piano lessons. I also started learning violin and it's fun to be now be able to play, slowly, several primary songs and have them be recognizable. Not beautiful yet, but not as screechy as they were. I'm a counselor in the Primary Presidency and I love doing sharing times for the kids. We have a HUGE primary (150 kids) which makes it hard to keep enough teachers and leaders and really get to know the kids.


Ryan worked hard last summer taking high school Earth Science A and B, so that he could take Biology and Physics during the school year. Physics was the class he really wanted! He did great this summer and first semester and loved the online format of the classes. He's taking several other high school level classes right now (he's in 8th grade) and will have 14 credits by the end of the year. The plan is for him to earn at least his AA degree while still in high school and he'll start dual credit classes next year (PreCalc). He's been super involved in scouts and has enough merit badges to become a Life, and is just waiting until February for the six month time period to pass. His loves are still math and science, and anything dealing with fire. He will volunteer to build a fire in the basement anytime I will let him and loves to just sit and watch it or lay in front of the gas fireplace to do school.

Tyler is 6th grade. He still LOVES running and biking. He enjoys math and reading, but would prefer to clean over school work any day. He loves jobs like sweeping where you can see what you've accomplished and putting things in order. He also loves the rewards he gets for being a great  helper! He likes being outside, even when it's cold and taking care of the animals. He gets so excited still to collect the eggs.

Eli is in 3rd grade and finally starting to be more confident with school. He is choosing to read books for fun and gaining confidence with his math. He LOVES playing with the babies, especially chase and peek-a-boo type games. He also loves being outdoors and has started to enjoy running with Tyler. He has gained a lot of confidence this year as he's learned new skills with jobs, working outside, school, cooking, and sewing. He loves eggs for breakfast and cooking them up for anyone else that wants some each morning.

Jeanisha is also in 3rd grade. She loves making games out of school and encouraging the others to "race" and get their work done. Some days she will convince them to work under a bed or in a blanket fort and "hide" to surprise me. She also loves to cook, especially things like brownies and other treats. She is learning to make several dinner items and follow recipes without much help. She also learned to sew and enjoyed making pajama pants and a matching shirt, mostly by herself. She loves playing board games, but does not like going outside when it is cold.

Adam is in 1st grade and becoming a fluent, independent reader. He is mastering his multiplication tables because some of the online "games" that he loves, like sumdog.com have started giving him that type of problem as he's mastered lower math. He loves to basically teach himself with computer programs and amazes me what he just figures out. Technology and the way it scaffolds kids is amazing. He also did cross country, but tends to run in a kind of la-la land as he is looking at everything around him more than he is actually running. He's very observant and loves being outside. He is also in a very black and white stage and takes everything very literally.

Lincoln is a bundle of energy who has decided he should be called Linc. Apparently, I messed up when I named him. He told me that Jesus tells the parents what the name should be and sometimes the parents get it wrong. He is pretty adamant about it. He is very independent and I've learned it is pointless to try to teach him something before he's ready. It's a huge fight until the day he decides he wants to learn something and then it's just done. He's just recently started asking about learning to read, but if you ask if he wants to learn his letters and sounds, he'll say, no I already know them, I just want to read this book. He has done a preschool a couple days a week down at the high school and loved it. The teacher/child ratio is about 1:1 and he says he likes it because he doesn't have to clean up and he gets snacks. He also told me that most kids have to be parent sized to go to school there, but he is so smart, he was able to start going there when he is 4. He is diffidently not lacking in confidence!

Cumorah is 2 1/2 and having difficulty learning to talk. We've just finished ALL the evaluations for her ears and her hearing is fine. For some reason, she only says vowel sounds and won't even try to say most words. She is doing speech therapy and we're doing sign language. She understands perfectly what she is asked to do and does a pretty good job of communicating what she wants or needs even without talking. She is a tease and super silly and loves making the kids laugh. She is also sweet and cuddly and thinks she should be able to do anything they do. She like playing pretend, especially with baby dolls and toy food. She likes drawing and writing in all the kids' schoolbooks if they don't put them away.


Benson is  1 1/2 and he's not talking either, but I think a big part for him is that he points and someone jumps to get him what he wants. The audiologist termed it "older siblingitis" He loves to dance and be silly. One of his favorite things is when I am using the Blendtec and he runs over and wants lifted up to watch it. For some reason, he thinks it is the coolest thing. He loves farm animals and whatever toy someone else is playing with. :) He also loves riding in a laundry basket as the kids push him around the room. I think he would ride for hours if they would keep pushing. He also loves balls and has a pretty good arm.

Overall, life is busy, but very good. We have lots of silliness, giggling, teasing, and playing on a daily basis. Along with school work, discipline, cleaning, cooking and doing different fun activities, there is never a dull moment.

Money Management and Budgeting Class

This is the handout from a class I taught tonight at Relief Society. You just miss my stories. :) 

Money Management and Budgeting 101

RULE 1: Always pay a full tithe! The promise of help from Heavenly Father is more valuable than anything else you could buy!

RULE 2: Make a plan for the financial future you want.

RULE 3: Use a budget and discipline to create that future.

Some people argue that a budget is too restrictive. It takes the fun out of things. The gospel is also restrictive, with rules and guidelines that appear to limit our freedom, but in reality give us much greater freedom in the future. A budget and money plan do the same thing.

President Tanner: “It has been my observation in interviewing many people through the years that far too many people do not have a workable budget and have not disciplined themselves to abide by its provisions. Many people think a budget robs them of their freedom. On the contrary, successful people have learned that a budget makes real economic freedom possible” (in Conference Report, Oct. 1979, 121; or Ensign, Nov. 1979, 82).

Part 1: Money Planning

If you don't have a plan, you will wander endlessly and never reach your ideal destination.

Step 1: See debt as a 4 letter word. It is your enemy! Make a commitment and do all in your power to avoid debt.

Joseph B. Wirthlin: Remember this: debt is a form of bondage. It is a financial termite. When we make purchases on credit, they give us only an illusion of prosperity. We think we own things, but the reality is, our things own us.

Some debt—such as for a modest home, expenses for education, perhaps for a needed first car—may be necessary. But never should we enter into financial bondage through consumer debt without carefully weighing the costs.

We have often heard that interest is a good servant but a terrible master. President J. Reuben Clark Jr. described it this way: “Interest never sleeps nor sickens nor dies; it never goes to the hospital; it works on Sundays and holidays; it never takes a vacation. … Once in debt, interest is your companion every minute of the day and night; you cannot shun it or slip away from it; you cannot dismiss it; it yields neither to entreaties, demands, or orders; and whenever you get in its way or cross its course or fail to meet its demands, it crushes you.” 2

Elder Joseph B. Wirthlin (1917–2008) taught: “All too often a family's spending is governed more by their yearning than by their earning. They somehow believe that their life will be better if they surround themselves with an abundance of things. All too often all they are left with is avoidable anxiety and distress” (“Earthly Debts, Heavenly Debts,” Liahona, May 2004, 42).

President N. Eldon Tanner (1898–1982) taught: “Those who structure their standard of living to allow a little surplus, control their circumstances. Those who spend a little more than they earn are controlled by their circumstances. They are in bondage” (“Constancy amid Change,”Liahona, Feb. 1982, 46).

Elder Ezra Taft Benson said: “Let us live within our income. Let us pay as we go. … Let us heed the counsel of the leadership of the Church. Get out of debt!” (Pay Thy Debt and Live, Brigham Young University Speeches of the Year [28 Feb. 1962], 12).

Step 2: Build an emergency fund of $1000 to $1500. Go crazy. Sell things, work extra. If you don't have at least a small emergency fund, you are at the edge of a cliff waiting to be pushed off.

Step 2B: Pay down consumer debt. Use a debt snowball. Starting with smallest debt first will give you momentum. Restructure debts to reduce interest rates, sometimes you can get a lower rate just by calling and asking. Destroy the cards so you don't just buy more stuff. Or freeze them in ice. Make them very inaccessible. Be cautious about closing accounts as that can affect your credit score. http://www.free-online-calculator-use.com/rapid-debt-reduction-calculator.html There are many other versions. Print it off and put it somewhere where you will see it everyday, on your mirror or the fridge. Consumer debt is like a fire that needs put out!

President Gordon B. Hinckley (1910–2008) taught: “Set your houses in order. If you have paid your debts, if you have a reserve, even though it be small, then should storms howl about your head, you will have shelter for your wives and children and peace in your hearts” (“To the Boys and to the Men,” Liahona, Jan. 1999, 66; October 1998 general conference).

Step 3: Build a buffer and live off last month's income. (Your emergency fund can be part of this.) The freedom from this is amazing and life changing! Same money, different timing = freedom and empowerment! You can pay all regular monthly bills on the first. No more paycheck to paycheck or worrying about checks clearing.

Step 4: Build a savings of 3-6 months of income. This can be saved in a conservative Roth IRA, CD's, or regular savings account. If you don't have a Roth IRA, start one. They are a great savings vehicle. Another option is to open one CD per month and roll them over, so one is always available in case of job loss or other emergency, but you earn a bit more interest than regular savings.

Step 5: Set up retirement/long term savings. Roth IRA's, rental properties, 401K. . .

*If your employer has a 401K with match, start this step earlier to not leave free money on the table. I like Roth IRA's. You can withdraw the money tax free in retirement. You can withdraw your principle penalty fee at any time. You can't touch the interest until retirement except in certain cases of “hardship.” If your income is lower than $60,000, you may also be eligible for the saver's credit on taxes (form 8880) which is an instant return on your investment of 10-50%. You can use this year's tax refund to make last years IRA contribution, you just have to put the money into an IRA by April 15^th. If you are in a high tax bracket, a traditional IRA may be better because you get a tax break now, and pay later.

Step 6: Pay off mortgage early.

ICCU offers a Freedom Mortgage: 10 years no closing costs. Other banks have other options. Long term savings are substantial.

Part 2 Budgeting

Spencer W. Kimball said “ with regard to family financing in the home. Every family should have a budget. Why, we would not think of going one day without a budget in this Church or our businesses. We have to know approximately what we may receive, and we certainly must know what we are going to spend. And one of the successes of the Church would have to be that the Brethren watch these things very carefully, and we do not spend that which we do not have.” One For the Money pamphlet

I use, and love, a software program called You Need a Budget www.ynab.com You don't have to have the program, but it saves me a good bit of time each month and makes budgeting easier. It makes the rules I follow automatic and I feel it's worth every penny! I can update/check my budget on my phone and import transactions and verify everything cleared. They have great support and free classes. However, you can also use a spreadsheet, paper and pencil, or an envelope system. The system itself doesn't matter, having something you'll use does.

We tell our kids to decide in advance not to smoke, do drugs, be chaste, etc so they are making the choice without being influenced by peer pressure or hormones. Budgeting is making the money decisions in advance so the retailers/advertisers aren't deciding how to spend YOUR money for you.

If you haven't used a budget, start by tracking your spending for 30 days. Every penny. Carry an index card in your wallet. This will help you have a starting place for your categories and know where the leaks are, so you can plug them or decide to keep them. $3 a day is $90 a month or $1095 a year, and almost $110,000 at 7% interest for 30 years. The goal isn't to cut out all pleasure or treats, it is to spend consciously. Sometimes, the chocolate is worth it.

Rule 1: Pay tithing and fast offerings first, pay yourself second. Paying yourself can take many forms: paying past debts and releasing yourself from bondage, saving for a down payment on a home, saving for retirement. Basically anything that increases your net worth qualifies. You are paying for freedom in the future. Freedom to avoid debt, retire, travel, and be able to go where the Lord needs you to go. I don't want to have to say, “Sorry Lord, I can't serve a mission, I chose to have nice things on credit instead.” Having nice things isn't the problem, having nice things before you can afford them is.

Rule 2: Give every dollar a job. Start with what you have now. Don't budget Monopoly money. (Money you hope to get, but don't currently have.) This is best done WITH your spouse. Have a budget meeting at the first of the month. One person can put it together, but the other signs off on it. Essential obligations first, freedom accounts next, disposable money last. Question every category at first. Is this a need or a want, can we reduce it? Reduce or eliminate the wants if they are less important than the big picture goal. Watch for hidden fees.

Rule 3: Save for a rainy day. Freedom Accounts, budget category where positive balance rolls forward until needed. Start with things you know, car insurance, Christmas, school clothes, deductibles. Then move onto saving for the less regular “emergency” expenses that aren't really emergencies. Every appliance in your home, every piece of furniture, and every part of your car are breaking down and will need replaced. If you are not saving and planning to replace them, you are living beyond your means. Each time you use your brakes, you are one time closer to needing new brakes. Ask about discounts for paying 6 months or a year upfront if you can. Build rainy day funds to get there. You pay it anyway, but changing the timing, you save. Cash is king!

Rule 4: Roll with the punches. Whack-a-mole is normal! Make conscious choices about where you will move the money from. If I overspend on groceries, I will have to take it from vacation or clothing or something more fun. If you consistently overspend in one area, adjust the budget. It is a tool, not the master.

Part 3: Teach Your Children

Give children opportunities to earn money. Teach them to save and make a plan for their money.

Kids need to learn the principles of working for money, saving, and budgeting.

Our kids have 3 “accounts” for money they earn or are given as gifts.

Spending money can be used for whatever they want, candy, toys, whatever. Mom and Dad have no say in how it is spent, but it earns no interest.

Short term savings may be for things like scout camp, saving up for a special toy, etc. Spending must be parent approved, and we pay 1% interest each month. (Set up to give the interest monthly via ipad app IAllowance.)

Long term savings are only for mission, college, or buying a home (or other approved future items) This money is held in an online savings account and we match it 100% when it goes into savings.

Part 4: Miscellaneous

Don't forget things like life insurance, wills, etc. Once a year or if you have a big life change reevaluate everything dealing with finances and make sure it is up to date. Pick a time/date for your review. Your anniversary, a holiday. I do it in March, after I finish taxes, before all my insurances are due. I get quotes from at least 3 companies before I renew. I like insurance brokers (Premier, WW Deal) who can run my info through several companies.

Ways to save:

Cutout “ stupid taxes.” (Mine is library fines.)

Do a spending fast. Stay out of stores as much as possible. Use a list and stick to it. Plan meals around sale items or what is in your freezer. I like to do this every February.

Make being frugal a game. Put savings toward something fun. Make a plan for “extra” money.

Put back one item from your cart or shop with cash. Specifically at Costco for me.

For Costco, only take in the amount you plan to spend. Leave the rest of your money at home or in the car. If you find a killer, must have deal, you will have to make an effort to go back for it, which gives you time to evaluate whether it is really worth it and usually, it's not.

Look for free money and take advantage of it. Rebates, free days at museums/activities, coupons.

Keep it in front of you. Subscribe to emails, listen to podcasts, post your Debt Snowball or goals where you see it, have a monthly budget meeting, enter transactions at least weekly at first. . .

Good books/resources:

Church counsel on finances https://www.lds.org/topics/finances?lang=eng

Free Courses on Personal Finance through BYU http://personalfinance.byu.edu/

Personal Finance Manuals from BYU (free online) http://personalfinance.byu.edu/?q=node/1389

Richest Man in Babylon, story format, good for discussion with teens (Short, quick read. I have a pdf copy I would be happy to email you, or the library has it).

Dave Ramsey's books and website

Tightwad Gazette by Amy Dacyczyn (Some great ideas, some extreme ideas)

Mary Hunt's books

YNAB forums, blog, and podcasts. Great hints and success stories.

www.MrMoneyMustache.com Great tips and ideas here, but quite a bit of foul language. He makes you look at money and retirement, especially early retirement, differently.

Free workshop/classes Feb 13^th in Boise: http://www.smartwomensmartmoney.com/